- Remember why you left
Make a list. Write down why you are better off without him, you should go into a relationship with your eyes wide open. Often times, we don’t do this. Why? Because we are in love, and love makes people dumb! I myself have been blinded by love, I gave this one guy the benefit of the doubt way too many times. Looking back on how he treated me, I’m disappointed in myself for letting him treat me that way.
- Stay true to yourself
Don’t doubt what you were feeling at the end of the relationship. When you find the right one, you won’t have to experience the pain of losing him. It’s often quoted “…men by nature are hunters and go for what they want…men go hard for what they want. If he is not going hard for you, you are not what he wants” A guy who truly cares or loves you won’t let you walk out of their life. It hurts. But know your worth, you should be with someone who can see how much you matter. Don’t sell yourself short.
- Don’t fill your head with fantasies of what could have happened
If it was really “meant to be” it would have been. It’s a waste of energy to think of what could have happened and it’s only going to make you feel down. Life is sweetest when you are truly happy, and thinking about how something good could happen if you were still together isn’t going to give you that good life. Especially if you are comparing those fantasies to where you are and what you are doing right now.
- Don’t dwell on the past
Living in the past is the best way to rob your future. If you are constantly thinking about the good ol’ days you’ll be missing out on creating a great present and future. Don’t take the present moment for granted, this is where you build for a better tomorrow.
- Forget the If factor
What if you would have done more, what if you looked different in one way or another, what if you would have said more? What if you were still together? The if factor will only drive you crazy and make you miserable, live in the moment. Take out the if in your life, make something concrete, something that you know of for sure (this concept ties into the next bullet point).
- Do something new
Don’t get stuck in old habits. I had a roommate who dumped her boyfriend, we were all so proud of her. We could all see that she could do so much better, we thought they were done for good, and we were all surprised when they were back together a week later. And here’s why they got back together:
She was bored. She spent every single evening with her boyfriend, all her free time was with him. So once they broke up what else did she have to do? She didn’t know, so she went back to what she was used to; and wasn’t happy. This cycle kept happening for months.
So find a new hobby, learn a new skill and focus your time and energy towards it. Go out with your friends, they are a great support system in times like this.
When those what if thoughts start running through your mind, when you start to think about what you two would be doing right now if you were still together STOP!! Just stop!!! Remember you are strong and deserve to be treated right, remember why it didn’t work. Love makes people dumb, now is your chance to be smart.